Living with Anxiety

I feel it is one of the worst things anyone CAN live with.

It tires you out mentally and physically and it sometimes just about drives you INSANE!

I was diagnosed with anxiety about 4 years ago and I only now decided to hell with it…

About three months ago I decided I am going off my meds… It was possibly the best decision I could make.

Then the real struggle started… Now I have to teach my body and my mind that it does not need meds to stay calm… And believe you me, they don’t always want to listen… Well, actually they basically NEVER want to listen…

Now for those of you who do not know what anxiety is, well, I can tell you this… IT IS HORRIBLE!!!

The one thing about anxiety is that you don’t show any outward systems, unless you are actually having an anxiety attack, in which case you might look pale, sound short of breath and you might have the shivers…

Having anxiety means not having much of a life…

At a certain point you might be constantly anxious, which believe you me, is NOT COOL!!!

At this point you might even feel like you are in a way disconnected from reality, because you are so sleepy from your body constantly being in a fight or flight mode and from producing all that adrenaline that your focus is just not what it is supposed to be.

And an interesting fact about adrenaline, if you don’t use it, it might be put over into fat… Meaning that you will gain weight…

Or, if you are lucky, you might be so anxious that your stomach clenches and you get nauseous, so much so that you lose your appetite…

Another fun thing that might happen is that you get so anxious that your upper back and neck muscles go into a spasm for MONTHS

So, what does an anxiety attack feel like?

Well, every time it is different, but usually it will start out with cold chills up your spine and then that awe-full DREAD…

And well, then you basically feel like you are busy DYING!!! Quite literally… You common folk might think that I am just exaggerating, but do yourself a favor… Ask ANYONE with anxiety what an anxiety attack feels like, and I guarantee they will all tell you the same tale.

It is really NOT fun… When you are anxious your muscles tend to pull tight and the one muscle that tends to add to that anxiety is your upper chest muscles and the ones just below your breast bone, because when THEY pull tight while you are on your way to an anxiety attack, the first thing that pop into your mind is… OH MY G!!! I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!!!

Yeah, that happens…

Sometimes it is quite reassuring when you are lucky enough to have a sibling or parent who have suffered from anxiety as well ( BTW, you can get it genetically… At least that is what I was told by my doc), because then you can go to that person and ask them many MANY questions… Which is what I do/did.

I usually go to that person while I am having an anxiety attack and ask them things like:

  • Is it normal to feel like this or that
  • Is my heart rate abnormally high
  • Do I feel feverish

And why might you ask do we ask so many questions or go to the doc so often or surf the web (which is probably why YOU are reading this.), well the answer is simple…

It is one of the many steps we take to convince our self that it is still only anxiety and not some bigger problem, like heart disease, lung disease, cancer, or what ever else our delirious minds make up.

So how do you get over it?

With a LOT of DAMN HARD WORK, that’s how…

I’m still busy with that journey as we speak… Well as I am typing this….

Methods differ from person to person, you just have to figure out what works for you.

For me, this helped:

No one can help you better than you can help yourself.

Like I said earlier, Anxiety is not a physical problem, its a mental problem. So you just have to get your mind set right. Get yourself out of your mind. Try to get our of that flight or fight mode. If a bad or anxious thought comes across your mind eye, allow don’t be frightened by it, its only your subconscious mind that picked up something or a feeling that reminds you of anxiety… Sorry if that does not make a lot of sense.

What I’m trying t get at, is that you should not allow your subconscious to bully you. YOU are your own master, so master yourself.

Allow those thought to cross your mind, but don’t allow them to stay.

It’s hard, really hard, but you can do it.

Here are a few things that helps:

  • Meditation
  • Relaxing Music
  • Lavender (Has a natural calming effect)
  • Laughter
  • Sleep(not too much though, but make sure you get enough)
  • A healthy diet
  • Exercise (A nice walk along the beach or nature in general helps to get your mind off things)
  • Do something YOU like (e.g. Painting, drawing, fishing)

Things that tend to worsen it:

  • Smoking
  • Alcohol
  • Drugs
  • Retreating into yourself
  • Stress

So, yeah, to every body who has a friend or partner suffering from anxiety, to you I say, it might not be a physical illness, but to us it feels DAMN REAL!

And to those of you who do have anxiety I say, just keep swimming… Your story goes on. And remember, you are NOT alone.

And feel free to contact me, I’m not a professional, but I’m always glad to help where I can. ❤

I hope I could help at least one or two brothers or sisters out there…

Well, that’s my perspective anyway…


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